Losing my mind

You guys really have the pleasure of hearing my rants. I feel sorry for you. But I don't expect anyone to read this like always.

My father is an ASS and an idiot. T_T Honestly?! Ok so I'm watching 'So You Think You Can Dance?' and the channel goes out. I go out to ask my father to just please connect the converter box and stuff so I can watch it. Problem is , he will not stop arguing with me. Then he FINALLY comes in to start messing w/ the TV. But the issue is that he jus starts fiddling with it...he doesn't seem to have any idea what the hell he is doing! MEN! THIS IDIOT! Luckily, soon enough, the damn TV comes back on but not until AFTER my mother wandered into my room. They stick around for a few minutes, not leaving like I BEGGED them to. Why won't they leave? Because they aren't listening. Why? They don't care. Then my dad starts to act like an idiot. A complete jackass that he is.

He yells at me to take my medication! I'm like...wtf? That has nothing to do with anything. And then he yells back and says that I haven't done this 'shit' in the past 6 weeks and he says it has to do with sugar levels or something like that. I'm just staring at him. I was put on medication over Spring Break to help deal with my weight and the fact that I couldn't lose any. Also Iron pills because they said I was anemic. How on earth he leads this to that I don't know. And he is an ass. I've forgotten to make my meds like half the summer! It's been off and on. My behavior hasn't changed since I got on this stuff . It doesn't make a difference if I take them or not for my behavior. HONESTLY. That makes me want to do the opposite to make a point. He is a complete ass.

I try to point out that fights only happen because they'll say something that they KNOW is provocative or something they KNOW will make me pause. Why? Because they think the world revolves around them, especially my father. He acts no better than a teenager! GROW UP JOHN! GROW UP! I am not your mother, your wife, your sister, your friend...I'm your daughter.But your 21 year old daughter. I'm not a little girl that is always there for you to boss around when you so happened to be home. Now, I'm here praying you will just shut up!

He doesn't want to hear anything that isn't HIS way. The only reason we started fighting is because, for some reason, I freak if my parents are in my room too long. This room is like 1/2 or so size of the room I used to have or at least 1/3 smaller than the one I had for like more than half my life. My dorm room feels bigger, even if I have a roommate than my room does. And when my parents are BOTH in here...I freak. I just told them to get out as soon as the damn TV came back on. But NO. They can't do that! They have to fiddle with things and further freak me out. I just can't handle them both in here at once. I originally still only asked *1* to come in.

I just want the rest of the damn summer to be spent without incident. But no, NO! My parents don't seem to want to allow it. I've told them I can't handle them both in here before...but do they listen? Do they EVER listen? No. No! I just want them to leave me alone. Like they were earlier in the summer. I can't take this for *2* more weeks. I really don't think I can. I just want to be left to do my own things. I want to drive from time to time and just be, not alone, but away from them. They don't understand, they don't listen. How many times do I have to repeat things to them before they will just LEAVE ME ALONE?! The only reason I didn't stay at Berry was I couldn't deal with everyone graduating. I just freaked then. But in the long run, I might have been happier! I've made a few great online friends here but right now, I just want to get away.

At this point we are fighting about just anything that we can it seems. It always starts over the little things in this household but really? REALLY? If they had just left my room I wouldn't have said a thing. BUT NO. They HAVE to have the last word. My last words to them were leave me alone. Now I'm in my room, crying, begging for something to happen to take my mind off of this, and waiting to go back to school. All I ask for is privacy. If i ask for help that does not translate to both of my parents coming in and invading my space, insulting me, yelling at me, slamming my door, and treating me like I'm mentally retarded or less than half my age.

So what the hell am I supposed to do for the next two weeks? Why couldn't I move in early? Can I deal with this for two more weeks? We'll find out....